Worries
by Permanent Rose
Summary: Maura worries about being a mother. Pregnancy fluff with a tiny hint of angst


"Eighteen weeks today," Maura smiles at Jane as she rolls over on the bed to face her. Jane's hand automatically reaches for Maura's swelling belly, letting it gently rest there as Maura continues. "The baby should be about fourteen centimeters in length and should weigh almost one hundred and sixty grams. The bones are beginning to ossify and the nerves are making complex connections-and also, the ears are now completely formed so the baby can hear our voices, " Maura adds, placing her hand atop Jane's as her stomach rises and falls.

"Hi, baby," Jane mutters with a grin she cannot wipe off her face. Usually, Jane finds herself becoming quickly annoyed at the facts that Maura so readily spews off, but when it comes to their unborn child, she's usually the one encouraging her. Jane wants to know every detail, wants to be aware of every single stage as she does what little she can while Maura carries their child.

Maura had been the logical choice to carry the child. Maura had been a part of the family long before the two had begun dating, and upon breaking the news to Jane's family, they had only embraced her all the more. Frankie (and Tommy, but Jane had immediately smacked him in the head upon him offering) had both been more than willing to donate sperm to the couple as they finally came to the agreement to expand their family. They wanted the baby to be as much theirs as possible, and using one of Maura's eggs and Frankie's sperm was the closest they could come. Though sometimes, Jane feels guilty as she watches Maura become sick, or watches her tired eyes develop heavy bags, and she wonders if she pressured Maura too much when she could have been the one to carry the baby.

"Next appointment we get to find out the gender," Maura mutters, Jane's still hand rubbing her belly. Jane knows she's terribly impatient, and that she's been dying to know since the day they discovered the implantation had worked.

Jane's fingers absentmindedly reach for Maura's hair. "_I_ already know it's going to be a boy," Jane murmurs, titling her head to press her lips against Maura's belly.

"Though I have no substantial evidence on which to base this hypothesis-and as much as I hate to guess with this crucial evidence, I suspect we may be having a girl," Maura smirks just a little, and Jane feels her hand gently trace her jawline before dipping her head down for a kiss.

Jane kisses her for a moment before speaking, her lips soft as they brush against her own. "Everything with you just has to be so precise, doesn't it?" she smiles at her girlfriend, leaning in for another peck. "Besides, it doesn't matter. We're having a boy."

"And what would be so wrong with a girl?" A smile dances at Maura's lips and Jane leans in to kiss it, once again, before she replies. She knows that Maura's supposed to be the one with all hormonal changes, making her more horny and sensitive, but, god, Jane doesn't think she's ever seen Maura look more beautiful. Pregnancy has given her a certain glow, and her curves are even more accentuated.

"Bows. And pink. Blech," Jane wrinkles her nose in disgust, propping herself up on her elbow as she searches for Maura's face.

"There is nothing wrong with bows. Or pink. In fact you just gave me a compliment on my nightgown last night," Maura adds with a tiny smirk, pointing out that her nightdress has both the former and the latter.

"Yeah, yeah," Jane mutters, still seeming unconvinced. "I guess the alternative is having a little Frankie running around...or a little Tommy. Okay, yeah, we're having a girl."

Maura giggles a little smugly. "Our baby won't be a stereotype, regardless of the gender," Maura assures her, rubbing her arm gently. "Besides, when it all comes down to it, we just want a healthy baby, right?"

"Of course," Jane smiles. "Too bad those dominant Rizzoli genes are probably going to take over-I want her to look like you."

"Boy, you switched teams fast," Maura chuckles.

"Yeah, well, imagining your little boy in an orange jumpsuit kind of does that," Jane trails off, regretting her words immediately.

Maura gulps, looking at Jane with a disapproving expression. "Don't say things like that, Jane..." she whispers. "You know I'm already worried enough about being a good mother."

Jane lets out a heavy sigh, reaching to wrap Maura in her arms. "Babe, there's no need to worry-you're gonna know every rule in the book, be prepared for every medical problem that might crop up-"

Maura cuts her off. "I know that...but what about all the other things? I know intellectually I can care for a child-but what about emotionally? What if I'm too distant...or not fun enough?"

"Shh, shh, there's no need to worry about that. You gonna be great, Maur-in every single part of it," Jane reassures her, planting a kiss against her forehead.

Maura still looks unsure so Jane moves her lips down to Maura's mouth until she feels her smile. "Come on. We're gonna be late for work."

XXXX

"Hey, babe, you okay?" Jane asks with a worried expression, finding Maura curled up on the couch upon her return home.

"Mhm," Maura yawns. "Just tired. And a headache," she murmurs.

"Wow, you really must be tired, because you didn't tell me that you had throbbing in your prefontal-thingy-thing or whatever," Jane teases as she joins Maura on the couch.

"Oh, hush," Maura manages a small smile, giving Jane a gentle shove.

Jane lets out a stream of breath, resting her hand against Maura's thigh. "But really, Maur...you seem a little off. What's bugging you?"

Maura pulls herself up into a sitting position, giving Jane a somewhat worried look. "I've just been doing some thinking...since our conversation this morning." Here she looks down at her belly. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you, Jane."

Jane's mind goes into panic mode surprisingly fast. She follows Maura's gaze down to her stomach, her imagination going wildly out of control. Is there something wrong with their baby that Maura hasn't told her about? She tried to keep her voice steady, but she knows her eyes give her away. "What is it, Maura? Is the baby okay?"

"Yes, yes...the baby is fine," Maura quickly assures her, placing a hand gently atop of Jane's, rubbing the back of it with her thumb. "It's just, I've been thinking a lot about being a good mother, and sometimes I wonder if I'm really cut out for this." Jane has already begun to relax, though Maura's words make her a little nervous. Is she saying that she doesn't want to have a baby anymore? "Jane, when I was in college, I made a few mistakes with a guy I was seeing on and off, mostly when we were highly intoxicated," here she pauses for a breath, and Jane reaches to wraps her hand around Maura's. "I got pregnant-and without telling anyone, I aborted the baby." Though the news is big, Jane finds that she's slightly confused. Maura isn't saying she wants to abort their baby, is she? "I'm telling you this, well, because it scares me when I think back to it. I went to that clinic and scheduled my appointment just as though I were scheduling a check up at the doctor's."

Jane notices that she's gotten a little teary, and she grips her hand a little tighter. "Jane, what kind of mother does that? What kind of mother views life like that...I know things are much different in this scenario, but Jane...I'm just really worried that I'm going to mess this all up."

Now she has begun to cry, and Jane quickly engulfs her in her arms. Though this piece of news is big, she knows there is no use fussing over it. It is in the past-she knows that, and Maura needs to realize the same. "Shh, shh, babe. You know what I think-no, never mind, you know what I _know_?"

Maura takes in a quivering breath, shaking her head.

"I _know _you're gonna be a great mom because you care. Trust me, Maura, no bad mother cares this much, okay?" She leans in, brushing a gentle kiss against the corner of Maura's mouth.

"Thanks, Jane," Maura mutters, tucking her head into the crook of Jane's neck. Jane strokes her hair for a while before speaking.

"You know, maybe I do know more than you after all."

"Oh, you wish." Maura scoffs, a smile breaking out onto her face as she leans in for another kiss.


End file.
